They have cake at work roughly thrice a month for birthdays and promotions and whatnot. I’m always stuck in the middle of some awkward conversation and feel exactly like this. I also realized just now why everyone in my office is so fat.
So this one time I was on this bus. There was one of those old-timey hobos driving it. You know, those ones that go around with a stick with a little bundle on the end. Anyway, this hobo was like "Hey, man, I'm riding the bus, you should try it too" and I said "But I'm already riding the bus." WHAT A TWIST!
side note: I rarely post original stuff any more, that mostly gets posted on Awkward Elevator.