awkward-elevator:

Dr. Tobias Fünke; Meme Analrapist

bestnatesmithever:

Sam, I have derpes. As your blogging partner, I feel obligated to tell you.

goddammit… I have so many phone calls I need to make now

bestnatesmithever:

theonion:

Father Excitedly Tells 10-Year-Old Son About New Video Game System | Full Report

*3-year-old

*self

benjaminography:

Bart gets a new tattoo.

*Bort

I don’t think this gigantic beast will fit in my entertainment center

sarahseeandersen:

The internal monologue that goes on whenever I cave to junk food.

bestnatesmithever:

So David Karp built this really awesome sports car. He built it from scratch and it looks amazing and when he drives it around town all the teenagers go crazy. But he spent all his money building the car, and barely has enough money to keep gas in it or to do maintenance and upgrades to the car. So occasionally he gives rides to advertisers who just want to be seen riding around in the Tumblr mobile.

Yahoo is going through a mid-life crisis. Yahoo decides to buy a sports car so they can look cool with the younger generation. They decide to buy Karp’s sports car, but they realize if they try to drive it they’ll just crash it.

So they come to an agreement. They own the car, but they don’t get to drive the car. David Karp will continue driving it, and can drive it wherever he wants, as long as Yahoo can sit in the passenger seat and tell the teenagers that Yahoo owns the car. 

The good news for Karp is he’ll never need gas money again. The good news for Yahoo is it basically just called “shotgun!” to the tune of $1.1 Billion.

And as long Yahoo never reaches over and tries to grab the steering wheel, the good news for us is Tumblr will continue to take us where we want to go.